Hunks Touch - Kamias

I just came from that rathole called Hunks Touch along Kamias and it was an experience I clearly do not want to experience again. The problem with masseurs who, let's face it, have actor-like faces and well-chiselled physiques is that they think their good assets are enough to offset their very poor massage techniques and exorbitant extras. Let me dissect why their service is one of the poorest so far I have tried...

1. Poor Technique
Even if my masseur Eric claimed that he was trained at a reflexology centre in Makati, his effort falls flat, as in flat as a planaria. I had better ones in legit spas than here. His touch was light and more of the chopping board method and finger tapping style that any idiot would know it's not massage at all. It was a farce for the P350 their Manager asked me to pay. It's ok not to have extras but if the massage itself is poor, then there is little room for redemption. He started pushing on my sole's pressure points and worked upwards towards my groin. No touching or making me excited, just grazing my inner thighs and my balls.

His upper back and torso is worse. There was no pressure at all unlike the most basic of Shiatsu massage. It was again the Chopping board method. Was I expecting too much? Perhaps, since he said so himself that he purportedly graduated from a "reflexology" course. Could it be that the only reflexology he learned there was to bend his hips to and fro?

The whole routine took only about 20-30 minutes. Bitin!

I had better ones at Boys of Bora.... As for the things to make me excited and be baited for an extra? None whatsoever. No passion at all. Enough to make me puke.

Rating: 3/10

2. Exorbitant Extras
I really thought their poorly executed massage is enough to shout, "Bitin!", but their extra option was on a different level. He asked for P1200-1500 (minimum of P700) for something that was royally inutile- a mere "penny for your touch". It's like masturbating the guy off and paying him P1500 for it. Such stupidity. At that amount, I expect to be sucked off and be buggered until I bleed. The masseurs of Hunks Touch think they're heaven's gift to gays and matronas, but in reality, beauty is only skin deep. No matter how good you look but if you have that arrogant, smug attitude, your desirability points drops down to zero like McCain's campain. So, I gave him an option, an extra at P500 or none at all. Guess which option he took.

Extra: ??

Over all: 3/10

Hunks Touch
(near New Babylonia, 100 meters from Edsa)
Kamias Street, Cubao

Recommended? If you have lots of yummy money that these hunky boys really need, then give it a go. Otherwise, they are douchebags out to milk their clients dry. Mukhang pera sila lahat!

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